First Night
by baronessie
Summary: The rain has ended and Sunny is finally alone with Kyle the first night in their new room. She takes this opportunity to ask him an important question, even though she dreads what his answer might be. One-shot. Very sweet, but not mindless fluff.


**So! This is my beloved Kyle/Sunny one-shot. When I read The Host, it bothered me slightly that the relationship between Sunny and Kyle was not more well-defined (meaning it was never really revealed exactly how they felt about one another), so I finally got it out of my system and just wrote this down. As you'll see, I did make it pretty "awww"-worthy and sweet, but I did address some things which were left unanswered in the book. **

**I hope you enjoy it, and PLEASE don't be lazy- write a review. For right now, this is all I've written, but depending on the feedback I get, I might take a shot at adding on a Wanda/Ian part and (possibly) a Jared/Melanie part as well. **

**Note: This is from Sunny's perspective, just so you know. Enjoy!**

First Night

It looked like the rain was about at an end. It hadn't even drizzled for a few nights now and the heat was gradually returning. The caves were finally beginning to dry out, and some of the humans were talking about taking a chance and moving back into their rooms.

Our new room was almost ready to be inhabited again. Kyle had been spending a lot of time chipping away at the rough, rain-dampened walls to make it big enough for both of us. I tried to help him- I wasn't strong enough to dislodge solid rock with the pickaxe like he did, but I could help move the chunks of rock and gravel out of the room. Even this was a difficult task for me. I didn't mind doing it, though, because this way I could stay with Kyle and be useful at the same time.

Sometimes I was afraid that I was bothering Kyle. He was always so very kind to me, but I couldn't help but be insecure. I knew that he loved Jodi more than he loved me, and I worried a lot about how much he really cared about me, the soul inside his love's body. I was still looking for her- he had asked me to, and I would do anything for him. What would happen to me if I did find Jodi, still there in the back of my mind? What would Kyle do? These were the things I was silently fretting over when the rain finally ended and Kyle dragged our mattress back to the new room that first night.

There were stars shining through the maze of cracks in the ceiling as we got ready to go to sleep. As always, I ended up curled against Kyle's side with my head resting on his shoulder. He was stretched out on his back with his arm loosely around me.

My thoughts had been nagging at me for a while, and for once we were completely alone, with nobody sleeping within hearing distance. For a while I contemplated whether I should ask him my question or just stay silent. It took me a few minutes to build up my courage, but finally I spoke.

"Kyle?" I whispered, half-hoping he had already fallen asleep. In the still silence of the night, my voice sounded much louder than I wanted it to.

"Yeah?" he murmured sleepily.

I bit my lip, unsure of how to begin. He opened his eyes and lifted his head slightly to look down at me when I didn't continue.

"What is it?" he whispered. His curious eyes reflected the starlight as he watched me.

I avoided his gaze when I spoke.

"If... If I found Jodi, what would you do?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper.

He seemed surprised by the direction of my thoughts. He shifted so that he was on his side, facing me. I kept my eyes down.

"Did you find her?" he asked, suddenly focused. I cringed at the hope I could hear in his voice.

I shook my head.

"No..." I began. "I... just wanted to know what you would do... if I did."

"Oh."

He didn't answer my question right away. I peeked up at his dimly-lit face- he was frowning thoughtfully. The seconds ticked by.

"Would you take me out again?" I blurted out before I could stop myself. I immediately wished I could take it back. I closed my eyes, trying to will myself to disappear.

Then I felt his hand touch my face.

"Is that what you're worried about?" he asked, surprised. "Sunny!" he sighed, reaching his arm around me and pulling me closer to him. I let him hold me, glad that he seemed to understand my anxiety.

"I know you want her back," I whispered, my face pressed gently against his collar bone. "And I am looking for her. But Kyle... I don't think I'm going to find her," I admitted, cringing at the pain I knew this would cause him.

He tilted my face up so that he could look at me. I opened my eyes warily. He stared at my face for a moment before he spoke, eyes searching.

"I knew when she didn't wake up that she'd probably been lost," he began quietly. "I asked you to look for her because it's not right to just give up on finding her, but Sunny... if you did find her, I wouldn't just have you shipped off to another planet." His fingertips lightly caressed the scar at the base of my neck. "Not unless that's what you wanted."

I shuddered at the thought of that. I couldn't bear the idea of leaving this planet, I didn't want to go anywhere else. I wanted to stay here. Kyle's arms tightened around me.

"But if we decided to take you out, and you wanted to stay here," he continued thoughtfully, "we could always get you another body, like we did with Wanda." He tucked my head under his chin, trying to comfort me. "I wouldn't make you leave, Sunny, if that's what's worrying you," he murmured into my ear.

I slowly began to relax as his words sunk in. I knew he still cared about Jodi, but he cared about me, too. The problem was that I needed to know why.

"I don't want to leave," I whispered. "But..."

"But what?"

I hesitated.

"What happens if I don't find her?"

He didn't seem to quite understand what I was getting at.

"Well then you can stay here, of course," he said, sounding confused.

"Yes I know that, but..." I trailed off.

"Sunny?"

I couldn't answer. I didn't know how to ask him this. This was the most essential answer I needed, but I had no idea what to say- how to get my answer. When I didn't say anything, he sat up, carefully pulling me along with him. He cupped my cheek in his hand, tilting my head up to measure my expression.

"What's wrong?" he whispered, leaning his face closer to mine. It was hard to look away from his eyes when he did this. I could feel blood rushing to color my cheeks.

"I..." I tried to find the right words. "It's just that... I know you love Jodi, and I'm in her body. And you're always kind to me, so kind..." I closed my eyes before an moisture could escape them. "But I really need to know how much of that is because of her. I mean if I don't find her, then I'm just a soul that happens to be controlling her body, and I'm not her, Kyle, I'm me, and the thing is that I know how I feel but I have no idea how you feel and..." I stopped suddenly, pressing my lips together so that I wouldn't say anything more that I would regret. I didn't know if he understood what I was trying to say, and I dreaded what he might say if he did understand.

His hand was still holding my face up; he began to stroke my cheek with his thumb. I drew in a shaky breath; it was almost a sob.

"Shh," he hushed me, carefully gathering me up into his arms. He held me in silence for a moment. "I do love Jodi," he murmured, stroking my hair with one hand. "And it's a little strange having you in her body, but that's not all I care about. I care about you," he continued, squeezing me gently. "You're good and sweet... and you were never afraid of me," he added, laughing quietly in my ear.

I sighed. My body relaxed its rigid position slightly.

"This is such a strange planet," I whispered. "In all my lives as a Bear I never experienced anything like this... the emotions here are so different, so much more powerful. These feelings are just so... so strange. I don't know what to make of them." I hid my face against his chest as I admitted this.

He leaned his face down until his lips were at my ear- his breath tickled.

"You love me," he murmured, stating rather than asking. A strange shiver ran through me at his words. "I'm just beginning to really see that. At first I thought you just trusted me enough to protect you, but then everyone calmed down and you still stayed with me... and I was happy because I wanted you to stay," he said quietly. "Not because you were in Jodi's body, but because of you."

I could feel the warmth radiating in my chest as he said this. He wanted me with him- he didn't consider me a burden to him.

"I want me to stay, too," I whispered. "This is all so... confusing. So new. I still don't understand what it means to love someone like this."

He laughed quietly. "Most humans don't entirely understand what love is, either. It's such an abstract concept that it's hard to define. But most of us know love when we feel it. I love you too, you know," he murmured, tilting my face up so that he could look into my eyes. My heart fluttered. "It came on much more gradually than it did for you, but it's still there."

I wanted so much to believe him, but this was something I still couldn't quite fathom.

"Why?" I whispered, staring into his bright eyes. "Why do you love me? How do you even know that you do?" I waited, my heartbeat quickening as he thought over his answer.

"Those are two different questions... and they're both pretty difficult to answer," he began, absently running his fingers against the side of my neck. "I like being with you. I don't feel right when you're not with me, like I'm off-balance or something. And I care about you. I want you to be safe... I want you to be happy." He paused. "That's how I can best describe it... plus it seems like my life has sort of moved in different direction ever since I brought you here. You don't know what the invasion did to me," he murmured, stroking my hair lightly. "It made me into a different person from the one you knew from Jodi's memories... ask anyone here, they'll tell you..." He was silent for a moment, thinking, before he continued. " And you changed that."

I sat quietly in his arms, thinking over his words. I understood what he was talking about because the same thing had happened to me. I wasn't by any means miserable before he found me and took me back to the caves, but I was never completely happy. I liked Earth better than the Mists Planet, but it seemed like everyone around me had found happiness in a way which I hadn't. I dreamed about Kyle all the time, and each time I woke up was harder than the last. I missed him so much, that it had been a constant ache which I had learned to deal with. I was so happy when I realized that he had really come for me- that I wasn't dreaming again.

My thoughts were interrupted when he leaned down suddenly to nuzzle my face. My breath caught at this unprecedented level of affection, and my lips parted. He took advantage of this, and before I could fully register what he was doing, his mouth pressed gently against mine.

I was frozen for a split second, caught off guard more than anything. Kyle had held me before, had occasionally touched his lips to my forehead, but he had never really kissed me. Not like this- nothing like this. Nor had anyone else, for that matter. I had dim recollections from Jodi's memories of him kissing her, but this was so different, so new. At first I didn't know what to do, but natural instinct took over and directed me to move my lips against his.

I lost track of time, but eventually he pulled away, his bright eyes on me. I could feel the heat still coloring my cheeks. I smiled timidly at him, and the corners of his mouth turned up. We didn't need to say anything, I could see his thoughts spelled out on his face, as I was sure he could see mine as well. It was silent for a few moments as we read each others' expressions, then he leaned down and briefly touched his lips to mine again.

I sighed happily and let my head lean against his shoulder. He seemed to understand that my insecure fretting was over now- he gently tugged me back down onto the mattress with him. I yawned and curled closer to him, feeling very warm and loved. Fatigue quickly settled in; I suddenly realized that I was very tired. I closed my eyes, and within a few minutes I had succumbed to sleep.

*******

**Well, what do you think? Like I said, please take the thirty seconds (or more) and review. It would make me extremely happy. And [warning: shameless advertising ahead] if you liked this, you might also want to check out my other one-shot called "The Truth" and my novella-sized story "Panacea". Cheers!**


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